The Monday meeting

As I’ve mentioned before on these pages, we have a planning meeting that lasts all day every Monday. About a third of the meeting is taken up by programme planning, but the rest of it is politics, gossip and taking the piss out of one specific member of staff.

Starting today, Laura decided to start taking notes so that some of the hilariously inappropriate things that are discussed are not forgotten.

Today’s meeting:

9.57 Meeting called for 10.00.

10.00 Staff members turn up.

10.25 L (Manager) finally turns up.

10.30 Meeting starts.

P, while talking about a strategic plan for fundraising: ‘We will just do our best, there is nothing we can do.’

11.13 Discussion about Kenyan politics, L is directing people to the newspaper to highlight her points.

11.15 Discussion about American politics, particularly about Obama and his wife.

N, talking about P : ‘I hit him already, and he felt pain.’

11.18 More Kenyan politics.

M about P: ‘He is someone who needs assessment. Serious assessment.’

11.21 Work gets discussed for the first time.

L, talking about visitors to our flagship programme in Nyanza: ‘There is nothing to show them. There is nothing to report on.’

L, talking about holding a meeting in Nyanza: ‘We need to make the meetings strategic so that they have outcomes. I don’t know how we will do that.’

P, about the Catholic Sisters who runs the project ‘These people are Christians and only help people because they think that they will go to heaven.’

12.24-13.07 Discussion about garden party.

Phitalis: ‘I am talking about F (intern). F. Isn’t he called F?’

L, talking about Laura: ‘I don’t like people who don’t smile. I can’t speak to them, in case they might spit on me.’

L, to the entire meeting: ‘Excuse me guys, don’t take P very seriously.’

L, to P: ‘Why do you call people mad?’

13.35 Discussion about devil worshipping.

13.45 Discussion about spam starts with L saying: ‘I have a problem. I keep getting emails about men who want to satisfy their girlfriends.’

14.01 Discussion about whether P buys sanitary pads for his wife.

14.18 We discover that Nakumatt (supermarket), sells special stones picked from soil for pregnant women to eat.

M: ‘Maybe we should do some disability awareness training for care homes?’

M: ‘Yes, yes.’

L: ‘No, no that won’t work. I know it won’t work.’

M, ‘Yes, I agree.’

L: ‘We need to educate them, show them that inclusion can work. We should do some training.’

M: ‘Yes, yes.’

15.11 Discussion about Railia’s motorcade of 16 cars on Ngong Road and P attempts to justify it.

P: ’16 is nothing, when he went to Kibera he had 50 cars.’

15.19 P ranting in Swahili.

15.24 More Swahili, possibly about a state house for the Prime Minister.

15.28 Wow, work again. Monitoring and evaluation and how it is not done.

15.38 Pstalls quick execution of any other business.

15.40 L tells people that they are hungry, not because we’ve not had lunch, but becuase no one brought any breakfast in.

15.47 Meeting is finally over, after almost six hours.

To be continued next Monday…



  1. hahahaha!

  2. And you say you get bored? You could write a monologue based on this! 😉

  3. Hello Amaia, how are the beans in London?

  4. I hope that Lynette reads all that! I’ve got a feeling she won’t be embarrassed though.

  5. Good to see that meetings in Kenya are similar to mine in Madagascar.. =P

  6. Good to see that meetings in Kenya are similar to mine in Madagascar.. =P

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